What Are These Girls To Do?: Two Towers
by Obsidian Webb
Summary: The adverntures of Merut and Ete are continued in Middle Earth!
1. And the portal back middleearth is?

A/N: AH HA HA HA HA!!! The evil Obsidie returns! I am submitting the sequel with a gun pointed to my head... not really, but you get the point. This is the sequel to What Are These Girls To Do?: Fellowship. As you can imagine, it continues the tale of our two heroines.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own it... I know that....  
  
^~^~^~^~^~^~^~!^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^  
  
It was a year ago that our two heroines left Middle Earth for the mundane world. They failed to see each other much over the year and were anxiously awaiting to see each other.  
  
"MERUT!"  
  
"E.T.!"  
  
They meat each other on the first day of Pennsic 32. After the usual greetings, the two decided to try to find their way back to Middle Earth.  
  
A week and a half later, on the exact same day that they went before hand, early in the morning, they set out for the swimming hole. They stood on the bank, holding on to the stick attached to rope, ready for take off.  
  
"Ready?" asked Ete.  
  
"Ready." said Merut with stern determintation on her face. And thus they swung and let go.  
  
"ET?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Are you wet?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Are we in Middle Earth?"  
  
"No...."  
  
The two tried again and again, only getting themselves more wet and waking up the people in the surrounding camps. After being hustled out of the area by cranky SCAdians, the pair sat at the edge of the road, sopping wet, frowning and staring into the mud.  
  
"What're we gonna do?" Ete said hopelessly. "That's how we got in last time!"  
  
"Maybe if we wait until the exact same time we did last year!" Merut said, happily, full of hope.  
  
"But we'd have to wait all day." Ete said exaperatedly. "What if it doesn't work and today's the only day it's open?"  
  
"Good point." Merut said, sighing. The two took a deep breath and sighed. It took about fifteen minutes before Merut piped up again. "Maybe it moved!"  
  
"Moved?"  
  
"Yeah! All we have to do is wander around all of Pennsic and try to find the portal again!"  
  
"That'll take all day!" Ete said sadly.  
  
"But at least we gave it a good shot." Merut said.  
  
"Fine then." Ete said with resolution. "We're gonna get back to Middle earth even if it kills us!"  
  
Merut stood up, her fist clenched. "I'm gonna show Gimli what's good for him!"  
  
"I'm gonna screw Leggie!" Ete said, standing up, her fist clenched as well. Merut looked at Ete strangely.  
  
"You're gonna what?"  
  
"Nevermind." Ete said. The two stood in silence for a few minutes, stuck in a dramatic and firm pose. "... where do we start?"  
  
"Ummm...." Merut looked around. She pointed at a porta-jon. "The Porta jons!"  
  
"What?! They haven't been cleaned today!" Ete said, horrified.  
  
"Do you want to see Legolas or not?"  
  
"Fine then." Ete said, her resolution solidified again.  
  
Thus the two wandered around Pennsic, going in and out of as many porta jons as possible. They found themselves and hour later out in hell and gone, about two miles from where they started.  
  
"My resolution's going all jelly like." Ete said, tired and thirsty.  
  
"How about the... gates!" Merut said, jumping up in the air.  
  
They tried this approach. In the small household and barony encampments, they were greeted with water and as many tried as they wanted. Ete and Merut jumped in and out about twenty times at each gate, but found time and time again that it didn't work. In the royal encampments, they were greeted with less of the welcome as before. They were only given two shots at best. This disheartened the heroines, but they never gave uphope. Soon, it was lunch time and they needed to eat.  
  
"Damn it, Merut, the day's half gone! We're gonna miss it!" Ete said, taking a bite out of her steak and cheese sandwich.  
  
"Don't worry. We'll find it." A cannon fired.  
  
"A battle's started." Ete said, looking over her shoulder in the direction of the battle field.  
  
Merut perked up. She grinned evilly.  
  
"Merut, what are you...?" Ete noticed Merut's evil grin. She understood. "Oooh." Ete and Merut started to grin together.  
  
"HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLD!!!!!!" Was the general cry across the battle field. Ete and Merut were zig- zagging in and out of the battlefield, in between giant fighters with armor and weapons, thwacking each other and could easily crush the two girls.  
  
The two remained unscathed, but were severely saddened as their resolution turned liquid and they fell into chairs at Merut's camp.  
  
"What're we gonna dooooooooooooooooooo?" Ete whined. "The day's almost over and if we don't find it soon, we'll miss it for a whole year!"  
  
Somewhere at Pennsic....  
  
"Hmm. I think I'm going to go see Abby at her camp." Said a bored SAB. He spotted a neon object on the ground of his encampment and grinned.  
  
Meanwhile, the two girls had dozed off, tired of the day's endeavors and sadly disheartened.  
  
Targets in sight... lock targets... fire!  
  
The two were barraged with jets of water.  
  
"What the?!" They both said, starting from their seats.  
  
One thing to understand about these lounge chairs is that the center of gravity is very high off the ground and not cenered. The two girls flailed around trying to regain balance. Merut grabbed whatever she could to keep herself from falling but it was no use because that object came with her and the two heavily hit the ground.  
  
But ground wasn't supposed to be squishy and breathing.  
  
Ete had fallen... onto Legolas, much as the last time. Merut had fallen onto... the SAB?!?!?!?!?  
  
Yes, that's right, my readers, the portal to Middle Earth this time was the fall from their chairs... and the SAB was with them. 


	2. A renewed arguement and some 'splainin' ...

A/N:... Sorry. Chap 2 is up. Abby, don't kill me.  
  
Disclaimer:... too tired to write one. Now ownie. Abby ownie SAB. I ownie nothing. Tolkien ownie LOTR and Leggie.  
  
Chapter 2  
  
Legolas, much bewildered to find himself once again on the ground with a girl on him, suddenly jumped up in happiness.  
  
"Ete!" Legolas said, giving her a great embrace.  
  
"Legolas!" Ete cried, tossing her arms around Legolas's neck.  
  
"Ow..." moaned SAB, under Merut.  
  
"SAB?!" Merut said, jumping off of her mattress.  
  
"SAB?" Ete said, confused as she turned around to see the SAB, all decked out in Lorien clothes, pointed ears and everything.  
  
"SAB?" asked the SAB. "Who's SAB?"  
  
"Oh no! He has amnesia!!!!" Merut said, over dramatically.  
  
"Abby, what are you talking about?" SAB asked.  
  
"Maybe not." Merut said, shrugging.  
  
"What's the hold up?" asked Aragorn, running back.  
  
"Um..." Ete smiled. "We're back?"  
  
"That would seem it, wouldn't it?" asked Gimli, quite disgruntled.  
  
"Well if it isn't the dwarf." Merut said, smiling candy sweet.  
  
"And that ungrateful elf." Gimli scowled. "What are you doing here?"  
  
"Well I can't leave Merry and Pippin to torment, now can I?"  
  
"Really? How noble of you." Gimli said sarcastically. "If I didn't know better, I'd say you came to dance on Boromir's grave!"  
  
"Well if I did, It would be his own damn fault."  
  
"Have you no shame?!" Gimli yelled, quite red in the face. "Boromir was a noble man who loved his country and fought for it until the end and you dislike him for one error!"  
  
"Well it was a biggie!" Merut said incredulously.  
  
"So he showed his feelings! What's wrong with that?"  
  
"HE KISSED ME!"  
  
"Well-"  
  
"Hold on a sec!" SAB broke in, taking Merut off to the side. "Who kissed you?"  
  
"The hideous, evil, stupid Gondor boy!"  
  
SAB looked to Ete for answers. She was standing, staring off into space when she noticed SAB looking at her.  
  
"Boromir." Ete said, waking from her trance.  
  
"WHAT?" SAB yelled.  
  
"Well I'm glad someone agrees with me." Merut said, sticking her tongue out at Gimli.  
  
"He kissed you?"  
  
"Yeah." Merut said, quite miffed. "And it was gross! That guy needed to shave and brush his teeth and whoa! did he stink!" Merut started rambling as SAB tried to get his mind together.  
  
"H-hold on a sec!" SAB said. "Boromir-"  
  
"Hideous, evil, stupid gondor boy to be correct." Ete broke in.  
  
"Yeah, him, kissed you and...."  
  
"I yelled at him! He died and he deserved it!"  
  
"You have a lot to catch up on, SAB." Ete said. "But let's find Merry and Pippin while we're at it."  
  
The company started running and Ete started explaining.  
  
"Last year at Pennsic, Abby and I fell into the swimming hole and ended up in Middle Earth. Got it?"  
  
"Why'd you end up here?"  
  
"No idea. Anyway, we travelled and somewhere in the Mines of Moria, you showed up."  
  
"And you told Abby to put me back." SAB said. Both he and Ete were confused.  
  
Ete cocked her head. "How'd you know that?"  
  
"It seems familiar."  
  
"Anyway, around the end of the first movie, we de-materialized and ended up wet and in the swimming hole, about one second after we dropped. We resolved to find the portal this year and we found it. It's an unexpected drop that brings us to Middle Earth. but I don't know why you're here."  
  
"I was hanging around camp and brought my super soaker to Abby's camp. I sprayed you two, you two jumped up, Abby snagged onto me, I started to fall and then Abby was on top of me... here."  
  
"Well, you fell with me, so... I guess it brought you here."  
  
"Who's 'it'?" Asked Merut, running up beside the two.  
  
"Whatever brought us here in the first place." Ete said.  
  
"Familiar scenery!" Merut bursted out.  
  
Sure enough, the pack was where they should, between two slabs of rock.  
  
"Aragorn!" Ete called to the leader. "Look down!"  
  
"What?" aragorn asked, turning around and tripping.  
  
"Hee hee!" Merut said, laughing.  
  
"Hey...." Aragorn said, picking up the pin.  
  
"What's wrong?" Legolas asked Aragorn.  
  
"Not idly do the leaves of Lorien fall." Aragorn said. "They must be close."  
  
"Come, everyone!" Legolas said, following Aragorn, who was running ahead. Ete ran to catch up with Legolas, leaving SAB and Merut to themselves. 


	3. The cards are dealt

is at gunpoint I guess I have to write more! If you haven't read the first part, read it or you won't understand.

Tolkien's... not mine.....

Chapter 3

"Are... we... there... yet?!?!?" panted Ete, tired after three solid days of running.

"Let's... pitch... camp!" Merut suggested.

"No!" Aragorn called. "We're catching up!"

"NO!" Ete screamed, stopping. "I'm tired! I'm hungry! The only thing to see is open land, open land and, oh! For a change of pace, OPEN LAND! I'm sitting down right here!" Ete sat down like a stubborn child, her arms folded in front of her chest, her lower lip pouting, a scowl all over her face.

"Ete, please." Legolas said, crouching next to her.

"NO!"

"But we need to continue!"

"NO!"

"Mer..." Abby said, getting close. "Why are you being juvenile?"

"Leave her!" Gimli said, finally catching up. "She would slow us down anyway!"

"We can't leave her!" Legolas said. "There are untold dangers in the dark."

"I think she can handle them." Gimli said.

"Hey!"

"I think we should stay." SAB said, coming out from confused silence.

"I thought we were going to be rid of this foolishness now that there was a reasonable head on this crazy trio!" Gimli said.

"Well, we need to rest. We know we can make full progress and we need sleep anyway."

"Ah, the voice behind MY reason!" Ete said.

After more argument, the field was won. The boys set about making a fire while the girls started getting out the food.

Clink clink.

"Merut?"

"Yes?"

"What are these?" Ete asked, holding up four bottles of liquor. Merut turned red.

"Ummmmmmmm did you know there isn't a legal drinking age in Rivendell?"

"Because everyone there is a THOUSAND YEARS OLD!!!!" Ete screamed.

"Ete, you might give away our position!" Aragorn said, quite peeved, really.

"Yeah, well it's not my fault." Ete said. Then she had a brilliant idea. "Hey, Aragorn."

"What?"

"You grew up in Rivendell, right?"

"Yes...."

"So you'd know all there is to know, riiiiiiiiiiight?"

"Yes... What are you getting at?"

"Can you tell us which of these four bottles of liquor are the best?" Ete asked, holding up the bottles.

"Ete," Aragorn began, "We are having enough problems getting to where we're going without you insisting to stop and rest like a three year old that we don't need to add intoxication to the list."

"I agree" said Legolas. "We need to have a clear focus when we leave tomorrow."

"But come on. We need fun as much as anyone."

"Aragorn may not want a drink, but I have to admit that some of that in your right hand would be worth a shot to me." Gimli said.

"For once I agree with the dwarf!" Merut said, hopping up and down. "You boys may be too noble to appreciate a good drink at the end of the day."

"And you, Merut, may be too young to appreciate a good drink at the end of the day." Ete chastised.

"I'm not!" Said the SAB, sitting over with Ete and Merut. Gimli sat down and they all started pouring shots.

Two bottles later, everyone had loosened up just fine. Legolas, jealous of the fun they were having, joined and participated, however not as enthusiastically as the rest of the bunch, sitting with the goblet in his hand, sipping whenever Ete prodded him.

But Ete had bigger fish to fry.

"Hey, Legolas." Ete said, snuggling up against the elf.

"Yes?"

"Where I come from, we have this thing called 'body shots'." Ete glanced over at Merut and SAB, who were having their own personal drinking contest, Gimli egging them on. "Do you have them here in Middle-earth?"

"No, I don't believe so. I've never heard of it." Legolas said. "Is it a game?"

"Oh, and so much more." Ete said, sitting up on her knees. "Here's how you play." And Ete continued to relay how you play these "games". Legolas became more and more intrigued, with just the slightest touch of embarrassment thrown in.

"And do you want to play this game?" Legolas asked, his heart beating quickly.

"Maybe later." Ete said, grinning widely. "I think there's a couple who'd want to play this more than you and I." She looked over to Merut and SAB, who were now trying to arm wrestle. "I think we should save that for another night, though. We should ration our alcohol." Ete stood up, leaned down and pecked Legolas on the cheek and then went over to collect Merut, SAB and the passed out Gimli to toss them into bed.

The next day, while a little dizzy, the group sallied forth, running along the countryside of Rohan, Gimli, Merut and SAB lagging behind, Aragorn in front, Legolas and Ete chatting in the middle.

"So what you said last night about that body shots game." Legolas said.

"Yes, I do believe I mentioned something about that." Ete said.

"Who did you have in mind for the game."

"Merut and SAB."

"Merut and SAB?"

"Where we come from, Merut has been secretly lusting after SAB. When he got pulled in here with us, it's the perfect opportunity to have hot, kinky sex!"

"Sounds like an intriguing plot."

"My problem is that I can't talk with SAB and get the idea into his head."

"Can I help? I think I can talk to SAB for you and barter on your behalf."

"Would you?" Ete asked, hopefully.

"What's in it for me?" Legolas asked, looking over at her. Ete jumped over a rock.

"I think I can come up with something." Ete grinned.

"Deal."

suspense!


End file.
